TELL ME YOUR STORY.

When I talk about alpha woman, the first thing that comes to people’s minds is very successful women who have it all, who have all they want in life. The leaders of the pack.

Its funny though because if you look at it from a different angle you can see a different version of an alpha woman, How??? Ok let me tell you a short story about mama Dennis (Based on a true story) which started by me asking her to tell me her story.

As a girl mama Dennis dreamed of living in the big city (Nairobi), taking off from her rural home and running after her destiny. It was all a blur until her dreams became reality when she was offered a home in Nairobi by her auntie with an opportunity to further her education. I am sure you are all expecting her auntie to be Cruella, no, her auntie was very supportive and was her backbone through her years of education. After completing her studies in teaching ,mama Dennis was able to get a job at a local school and was able to move out of her auntie’s house.

 

Mama Dennis fell in love. Love was new to her and she was excited, aren’t we all when we think we have found “the one”. Mama Dennis decided to move in with her new-found love after 3 months of knowing each other.

Mama Dennis had a plan but a year after moving in with her boyfriend she became pregnant with Dennis, she was not able to go back to her family because this was not acceptable back home as there are customs that were initially to be followed before such commitments, in this case none were followed she was now in Nairobi and none of the traditions mattered. Mama Dennis thought that all would be well with the support of her boyfriend, but things changed as soon as they had their second child. The boyfriend suddenly went on an abrupt change as things were not as easy as they thought it would be. Mama Dennis had taken time off from teaching as now she had children to look after and her partner was now the sole bread winner. Things became very hard, and her partner did not handle it well, he sank into gambling and drinking and that’s when things took a turn for the worst.

The man started to become very abusive, but she stayed because she understood that it was just a phase and she hoped that things would get better. From the marks on her arms and the burns on her leg it was not hard to conclude that she was wrong to think that things would get better.

Why did she not go back you ask? You see as soon as she fell in love with her “perfect guy” according to her mama Dennis was living the dream. She was living her dream and thus forgot where she came from. She regretted not taking time to know him enough to start a family with him and due to the constant abuse, she became frustrated and thus she decided to take off. She did not take her kids with her, SHE JUST LEFT. We are all thinking the same thing, that it was very selfish of her to leave her children with an abusive man but to her she felt like that was her way out because she felt like she needed to start over.

It was not easy wondering the streets of Nairobi with nowhere to go and with no money, but she thought that she was able to handle the tough season, mama Dennis slept on the streets Of Nairobi eating food from the garbage cans. This happened for a month or so. She underwent conflicting thoughts, but she finally decided that it was time to go back to her son and daughter.

It was not an easy choice because she was not welcome in the place she called home; when she arrived at the house she took off from, tears came to her eyes when she saw her children, they were thin, dirty and the bruises from the constant flogging could be identified. She was not mentally capable of undergoing such frustrations ever again,  and so at that moment she took her kids and left. They stayed in the streets of Kayole (a suburb in Nairobi)  when she started fetching for individuals water at 10 shillings per can as the city was undergoing water rationing. Mama Dennis was able to make up to three hundred shillings on a good day and with this they were able to rent a bedsitter in Kayole.

Two years have now passed, mama Dennis is still fetching water and now washes clothes for individuals for a living. With that she is at least able to feed her children and put a roof over their heads, she decided to enjoy the small joys that come her way and take life a step at a time. At least now she can smile.

Moral of this whole story is it is important not to assume that every individual is where they are because they chose to. Knowing people’s stories and their truths will help you understand individuals on a deeper level. Everyone has a story and every story is meant to be heard. To me mama Dennis is an alpha woman. She might not have it all, but she at least she figured it out. She made some wrong choices on her journey, but she is human. She was able to break the abusive chains she was able to start over, it might not be the best start but a step at a time.

Although the world is full of suffering it is also full of the overcoming of it and out of this suffering have emerged the strongest souls for the strongest characters are seared with scars.

XOXO …

How ever long the night the dawn will break.

African proverb